Assertiveness refers to a form of communication in which we are able to openly express our feelings, thoughts, and needs in a confident and respectful fashion. The ability to be assertive when necessary allows us to stand up for ourselves and build respect from others. However, it is very common for individuals to feel that they are unable to assert themselves and thus, their needs and emotions often feel unmet. If you are feeling this way about yourself, perhaps you have experienced some of the following thoughts:
“I feel too nervous/scared to stand up for myself”
“I let people take advantage of me”
“I am never able to voice my own needs”
“I always compromise for others”
“I feel that I am too aggressive when I try to assert myself”
“I am scared to express my feelings to others”
When we struggle with asserting ourselves, it can often manifest in the form of passive behaviour. This leads to a lack of concrete decision-making, poor voicing of needs, and compromising for the sake of others. On the opposite end of the spectrum, we may also struggle with aggression, in which we are able to voice our needs but in a fashion that is detrimental to the wellbeing of others.
Healthy assertiveness lies square in the middle of passivity and aggression. Assertive behaviour allows us to demonstrate confidence in our decision-making and expression of our thoughts, without appearing too aggressive or disregarding the feelings of others.
How Can We Help?
Struggling with assertiveness can often lead to difficulties with anxiety, self-esteem, increased sensitivity to criticism and a feeling that your needs are not important to others. At Connect Cognitive Therapy, we recognize that this can be difficult and we are here to help.
By working with one of our registered therapists, we can support you in your journey towards greater assertiveness. Our clinicians will guide you through an assertiveness training that will help you gain more confidence to stand up for yourself while respecting others. We can help you:
- Identify challenging interpersonal situations where assertiveness is difficult
- Understand assertiveness as a learned and trainable behaviour
- Identify thoughts and beliefs that lead to passivity
- Practice assertiveness through role-play activities with therapist feedback
- Assess your style of assertiveness
- Practice using “I” statements to express your needs
- Engage in assertive and productive conflict resolution
- Practice assertive body language
Benefits of Being More Assertive
Greater assertiveness is beneficial to our overall wellbeing in several different ways:
- Development of stronger self-esteem
- Improving relationships through better communication of individual needs
- Better stress management (e.g. being able to say no to tasks beyond your means)
- Stronger decision-making
- Developing a greater sense of agency
Take the Next Step to Greater Assertiveness
If you or someone you love would like to develop greater self-confidence, better relationships and other benefits associated with assertiveness, we invite you to reach out to us to learn more and to schedule a consultation with one of our licensed clinicians!